(And I Feel Fine.)

Oh armageddon, you're a funny thing. So, I was supposed to go to Sarah Stern's birthday party on Saturday night (sorry I missed it but happy b-day!), but I was feeling like crap, so Yoni and I stayed in and watched the worst movie ever, Children of Men with Clive Owen, and, for five minutes, Julianne Moore. Now, I hear the whole "social commentary" thing, but a movies gotta have a point, doesn't it? And abrupt endings where you're not quite positive what happens even though the whole movie hinges on that point aren't so much fun, are they? And having no real explanation for the most fundamental basis for the movie, i.e. a reason the whole world is suddenly infertile, that's kind of annoying, isn't it?
Yes. No. Yes.
It reminded me of last summer when I was working as a copyediting intern at Simon & Schuster, and for the first time, I was handed a manuscript that no one in production had seen yet. The book is already out, and might be becoming a movie. It's called Black Monday, and while it's entertaining, when I read it, the first thing that struck me was "this is retarded." And then I finished it, did a litle research online, and realized, "this is even more ridiculous than I thought!"
Why so snotty, you ask? Well, in this book, the world is ending because of some microbe that eats all the world's oil. Funny thing, because, um, didn't the world not have oil not so long ago? Is there are a reason everyone would have to die? Couldn't we go back to cooking over fire, riding horses or even bicycles, taking ships instead of airplanes? Yes, yes we could. And then, even if the book didn't have that majorly fundamental plothole, we have this doozy: (Yup - doozy.)
The killer in the book does all this stuff because he thinks he's a descendant of his idol, Lawrence of Arabia. He's obsessed with Lawrence of Arabia, and knows everything about him. However, there's no record of Lawrence of Arabia having had children, and in fact, he was largely suspected to have been homosexual. The killer would probably know that instead of falling for some smooth-talking pyscho who pulled the "oh my God, you bear such a striking resemblance...I can't believe it's possible...you're his great great grandson!" crap, no?
Yes.
OK, that second point doesn't have any relevance but I was just really really proud of myself for finding that error so I put it in. But anyway, back to the first one. What would it take for the end of the world? What is it about a lack of oil, or a lack of ability to to bear children, that would bring about anarchy, savagery, cannibalism, and the like? And if those are too stupid to really bring about armageddon, then what would? What could? And why are authors and producers so eager to create an end of the world based on such idiocy? And why does everything about armageddon suck so bad? (Yes, this includes The Road by Cormac McCarthy. I just don't get it. The Pulitzer committee sucks.)

Totally unrelated, I'm watching an episode of Frasier where everyone has nightmares and they all get angry at each other about stuff that happened in their dreams. Don't you hate when that happens? Isn't it irritating when you wake up and you have no idea if what you dreamed was real? Lately my mom's started waking me up at randomly early hours to tell me something and when I wake up again at around noon I always wonder if it really happened. (Happy to say it did, because the first day, she was tossing me my wallet, which whoever stole it had left on our doorstep, free of money but blissfully full of credit and ATM cards. Today wasn't as good, since she woke me up at 9 a.m. to tell me she stumbled upon a folder of my poetry from class this year and she really enjoyed it. There's something about parents reading your poetry that's just weird. Especially since there's one about her that I hope she didn't get but since she was big into poetry as a teen it's not likely.
Otherwise, today was just wonderfully productive - wedding stuff could not be going more smoothly. (Insert your own Yiddish/Hebrew "fingers crossed" expression here. I personally will go with "bli ayin hara" but I stop short of "poo poo poo.") We even got mattresses today - yay! July 4th mattress sales are amazing. AND I got two new cookbooks this week - it's like Christmas! But not, in so many ways.
OK, I'm tired, and I'm pretty sure this blog hasn't been making sense since line one so I'm going to go to sleep, and when I wake up, it'll be ONE MONTH LEFT TILL THE WEDDING!!