A Queen's Just a Pawn With a Bunch of Fancy Moves

It's been said that blogs are the ultimate form of self-indulgence. You know who said that? Me. I'm sure other people said it first, but whatever--here's my point. I am Dahlia Esther Adler Fisch. I am a 24-year-old soon-to-be-ex editorial assistant. I went to elementary school, high school, seminary, and college. I have had exactly one article published--in an NYU magazine with no standards--and one poem published--in a "journal" that's actually a website that no one reads. I came in 17th in the New York City spelling bee when I was in eighth grade and my name is in the acknowledgments of two books: American Bloomsbury by Susan Cheever and Masters of the Air by Donald L. Miller. I write a series of trashy books for teenagers that no one has ever read. In short--or perhaps it's too late for that--I have accomplished approximately nothing. I am not interesting. Do you know what my life is like? I work from 9 am until about 6 or 7, and then I go home, often with a stop at Supersol in between. Usually, my husband is still at work. In that case, I sit alone and watch TV. I also play stupid games that I pay $20 a pop for to download from Yahoo, and when they have a new version of Virtual Villagers, as they do now, I become addicted to it and check on my villagers constantly. Then my husband comes home, or, like last night, he doesn't, at least not until 8 am.

Voila. Did I ruin the mystique?

The Daily Dahlia was originally a series of e-mails sent by me to my high school BFFs and, for some reason, Ben Snider. This was when my life was actually terribly interesting, by my own admission. At some point, I replaced letter writing with a blog--maybe because it became safer to write for the public, since my life because that much less exciting. And sure, I miss the days when The Daily Dahlia read more like "There's this guy named Yoni and I'm not sure I like him I think he's too frum for me and anyway I'm hooking up with Brian and Ahron and I just broke up and Asshole Who Shall Remain Nameless dumped me for another girl...aaah!" but I like stability, and I like being married, and yes it comes with its challenges, but it's nice to have a partner in all of them. But I digress.

I once asked someone who complained to me about not updating my blog enough why they don't just write their own blog, and she responded that she didn't feel she had anything to say. Well, to her, to you, I say "neither do I," but I am an unsuccessful writer who is incapable of sharing the work that really means something to her and when I do this, I'm writing something and you're reading it. It's my vanity press, which, for those who don't know is a press that will publish anything you want it to as a book for enough money, the kind of thing that would be perfect for me if A) I wanted to spend money on such a thing, B) the idea of having my books floating around didn't terrify me, and C) I didn't have this free outlet right here.

Hey, try it sometime.