Whatever You Say I Am

Hmm, I seem to be stealing song lyrics a lot lately...

Anyway. Here's what I think I am: A passable cook. A passionate writer. A makeup addict.

Here's what I wish I was: A good cook. A good writer. A good makeup artist.

My biggest inexplicable concern is that the outside observer, friend or stranger, will think that I think that I'm good at something when in fact I know I'm not. So I put down my food before you can push it around on your plate and pretend to eat it. I won't let you read what I write. I'll tell you what makeup to buy, but know that no matter how often you pretend you will, you'll never come to me before a special occasion to apply it for you.

Last night, I had dinner with Ricki and Barrie and the godawful Sex and the City movie came up, and the following point was made: Carrie sucks. She's wrong a lot. Her job is to give advice, and while they may pretend it is the New York woman's Bible, her advice is bad and will not get you laid or get you into a meaningful relationship. Case in point--Carrie's love life sucked. If you weren't Aidan or Big, you didn't even get past one episode, two max. And the only one that didn't end in horror was that doctor from the Hamptons, which never even got off the ground, and who, by the way, was my favorite, except for maybe non-freaky Ben. If you were Aidan or Big, she either cheated on you or broke up with you really awkwardly at inopportune moments. And frankly, while Sarah Jessica Parker has a fantastic body, and finally in the second half of season 6, good hair, she could not in a million years get three quarters of the men she did in that show. She is neither charming nor a sex goddess, and we, Darren Star, Patricia Field, and all the rest, are not fooled.

But here's the question: did the writers know that she sucked? Did they think she was a supremely flawed character who was extremely self-centered, made terrible choices, and claimed to be a fantastically independent New York woman while having everything paid for by wealthy New York men? Or was the issues of her flawed-ness addressed only once--when she cheats on Aidan with Big--and are we otherwise to think that she is single and fabulous, exclamation point, and that she is who we are supposed to wish we were? See, it's OK--nay, it's pretty cool--to have a supremely flawed main character, as long as they know she's flawed. And I can't really like the whole thing unless I know that they know that she sucks.

I can't figure out how to find that one out, but I will. Someday. I will add it to my list of summer to-dos along with reupholstering my chairs and getting a new pair of glasses.

On a totally unrelated note, Yoni has a scratched cornea. Say a prayer for him--it hurts like hell.