Unfathomable Heat and Celebreality

Poor Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt. Can you imagine how hot that child will have to be to live up to expectations? What if she gets Brad's lips and Angelina's eyes? How much would that suck? OK, so not that much, but more than say...the opposite. OK basically Shiloh Nouvel is 2 days old and I already hate her.

Celebreality is such a different ballgame from anything we know. In our world, there are certain rules of dating. Thou shalt not date your friend's ex, at least not for a loooong time. Thou shalt observe an appropriate period of singlehood before moving onto your next relationship. Thou shalt not rub a new relationship in the face of an ex.

In celebreality, these rules are just impossible. The only way to avoid dating a friend's ex is to date a non-celeb (which isn't to say this is the worst thing ever - to my dismay, Matt Damon seems quite happy - but with the highest of the high profile celebs, this doesn't seem to work. J. Lo and Ojani Noa? J. Lo and Cris Judd? OK, maybe it's just not working for J. Lo.) If you don't move on quickly, and your ex does, then you look like the poor pathetic one who can't get over what happened. You can't not rub a new relationship in your ex's face because you can't not be all over the magazines and E!

I am so glad I have no celebrity aspirations. Right now, I'm just happy to be in the background of someone's OnlySimchas picture. Speaking of which, quite a day for weddings...three former Sulam members all getting married on May 29, 2006. What are the odds? Well, mazel tov to Laya and Evan, Mickey and Doni, and of course, Aliza and Mikey, who's wedding I'll be rockin' out at in my very poofy new dress!