Best. Imaginary Trip. Ever.

So, remember that stuff I said about planning the greatest bar trip ever for me and Yoni? Well, I'm still working on it, but I've got a year-and-a-half to go, so I'm feeling good about that. Plus, in the meantime, I've gotten some advice that will make the trip even awesomer than it would have been had I written about it earlier, so, take that!

Now, I don't want anyone to think that I'm not aware that planning a trip in January 2010 that will take place in August 2011 is insane. However, I don't think my insanity when it comes to planning is new to anyone, so let's all move on. I will also preface the details of the trip by saying that judging by the reactions I've heard so far, apparently my dream itinerary isn't really anyone else's. (Except Yoni's, because really, he'll go anywhere, which is why we work so well. People who love travel + people who don't = bad match.) However, I don't care--be excited, because my trip is fabulous.

And now, without further hesitation, I bring you the Fisch Bar Trip of 2011:

It begins with a flight. Not just any flight, mind you, but an IcelandAir flight. Why IcelandAir, you ask? Because they let you stop in Reykjavik for up to a week with no extra charge, and that is exactly what we will be doing, which brings us to stop #1: Reykjavik. The plan is to be there for two days, but I was advised last night by the ever-helpful Dani Klein, Master and Commander of the travel blog "Yeah, That's Kosher", to spend three days, so we'll see what we can do. (My guess is we'll end up sticking with two because this trip is insanely long, and although Iceland is cheap now that they're economy tanked, who knows what it'll be like then?)

After our time in Iceland, we will get back on that flight and land in destination #2: Stockholm. Now, this was originally going to be Helsinki, but again, Dani reared his helpful head and said Stockholm is way more interesting, and everything I've read seems to back that up, so this is the new plan. Thanks again, Dani! (However, this is the most tentative part of the trip, as it really does lengthen it and forces us to spend Shabbos in Stockholm, which apparently is not fun, so this is subject to change back to the original plan, but I digress.)

From Stockholm, we would take an overnight ferry to city #3: Tallinn, Estonia, which is apparently quite delightful and fairytale-esque. (Oh, and cheap. Did I mention cheap?) We would stay overnight in Estonia and then take the ferry to original #2 but now #4: Helsinki, Queen City of the Boring. In the original plan, we were spending a whole day here, but since it sounds like it's not worth it, we will most likely spend only a few hours here before continuing on by train to #5:

St. Petersburg! And therein lies the real purpose of this trip: my getting to use my "advanced" Russian on unsuspecting locals. Well, that and seeing the Hermitage and Winter Palace and all that. From St. Petersburg, we're either going to fly or, more likely, because Yoni's afraid that the "flight" from St. Petersburg to Moscow is actually just a guy named Yuri and his crop duster, take a train to city #6: Moscow, where we expect to spend about three days.

From Moscow, it's a fairly quick direct flight to #7: Tel Aviv, which is really just the gateway to doing lots of stuff in Israel, which is blessedly cheap since hopefully we'll be staying in Netanya the whole time. (Unless anyone wants to put us up elsewhere, of course.) From Israel, we fly home--but wait! What's this I see? The cheapest flight home is on BrusselsAir? Why, I suppose that means we'll just need to take another stopover!

And that, my friends, brings us to #8: Brussels. Pretty but boring, according to Yoni's brother and sister-in-law, we'll probably only spend the day there. However (however!), it is only a short train ride to #9: Amsterdam which is considerably more exciting. The hope is that BrusselsAir will charge only a small fee to extend our stopover from a few hours to a few days, allowing us some time to travel around BeNeLux. (Not that anyone really cares about Lux; let's be honest.)

Then, and only then, do we come home to you peons. But don't worry--we'll totally take a few pictures.