Heroin Girl and Other Stories

OK, I've officially lapsed into being one of those people who sucks at updating their blogs, so hopefully I'll make up for it right now, because I know that some of you count on me to help you procrastinate. Though, those of you who were there for everything I'm writing about may wanna skip this one.

First off, for those who missed it, this past weekend was one hell of a time. Thursday night, we had a mini-belated-b-day party for Miss Debra Debra at Phebe's, which included me, Yoni, Raphi, Jac, and surprise guests Mia Winton (whose name you may recognize from my random summer boat adventure with Etan, Raphi, Mike, Amitai, etc.) and her friend....Leora Walter! (Who, for those to whom this name means nothing, is from New Rochelle so it was just so random. Even more random, to those who do know her and went to Brov, she's currently living with Hot Talya Cohen, i.e. the Talya made famous by Gideon...the endless Yeshiva-circle-looping just boggles the mind.) So that was really nice, we watched Sasha Cohen fall on her ass on one of the TVs, I had a Sex on the Beach, and we had lots of fun and took cute pictures. Next up was Dan Korenstein's party at Mannahatta, which was really nice - so nice, in fact, that bottles of Absolut went for 300 bucks on the menu. A bit too rich for my blood, but I'd still like to go back for a drink sometime.

Next, of course, we had Shabbat for 1000. My compliments to Tamara, Nicki, Ilisa - it was lovely. Dessert at Kimmel, unfortunately, did not go as smoothly. Maybe the fact that Jedd was getting wasted with a fake a capella group from U of P should've been a tip-off, but as we left the Puck Building, I heard them singing in the corner, and they sounded OK, so I figured that maybe what followed wouldn't make me want to kill myself. Boy was I wrong!

So, we're sitting around the Rosenthal Pavilion, which is a great room with a glass wall that has a fabulous view of the city, and I'm happily eating every pastry i can stuff in my mouth and getting excited for some a capella a la Ani V'Ata (Jewish a capella group) and APC Rhythm (not Jewish, also a capella), and suddenly, Arielle (looking super hot in a gorgeous lace v-neck dress) announces the a capella group from Penn, the "Shavua Tovs." They run up on stage, looking like Ali G on speed, and start singing stupid songs, and not loudly at all, so we're all feeling really bad for Arielle and simultanously totally impatient with these morons and their drunk friends and fans. Then, to add to their annoyingness, this girl comes up (who everyone had totally noticed in Shul because she was wearing both a kippah and a doily pinned to different sides of her head) and starts half-playing, half-banging on a guitar, which not only looked absurd but was pissing people off because, after all, it was Shabbos.

So Arielle tries to get them offstage and they basically kick her off, so then we send Tamara up to get them offstage and she goes over to the girl and tells her to come down and the girl starts hissing at her and banging on the guitar in her face, and suddenly we realize "oh good Lord, she's totally crazy." FINALLY, they finish, and before Ani V'Ata can go on, Jedd, in all his drunken idiotic glory, runs onstage and yells "you've been punkd! They'd never performed before!"

Good one, Jedd.

Anyway, by now, no one's in the mood for a capella so everyone's talking throughout Ani V'Ata's performance which was sad, since they didn't even suck, and then APC Rhythm comes on. Now, they're not my favorite group but they're pretty damn good, and it was annoying that people were talking but whatever. Anyway, they sing their first song (already forgot what it was) and they're getting annoyed that people are talking. Then they move onto the Who's Behind Blue Eyes (which, I'm sorry, but Fred Durst DID do well, until they started chanting the letters to Limp Bizkit...well, what can you expect?) and he's good but everyone's laughing, in part b/c one chick's boob is coming out of her dress and in party b/c the crazy girl has gotten onto the stage and is standing at the end, singing along. So it's weird, but not thaaaat disruptive.

They finish the song and before they can start "These Words of Mine," this girl starts singing really loudly. I mean whole-room-can-hear-her-loudly. So they sing anyway, but the girl is really going at it now, and they're not stopping, and she's trying to whip out the guitar again, and we're not having it, so they finally get her offstage, and she starts screaming and ranting and the girl is totally strung out, so of course Mike decides that he MUST call an ambulance, and the girl is yelling about Jesus and Lord only knows what else and finally I think they picked her up. So that was an adventure.

And now I know Naf is waiting to read this so I will publish this and pick up later.